Defenses down, weakness found

Discouragement. Gets me every time. Don’t know why, but it does. It creeps in when I’m not looking, settles in, and there it is. I’ve just recently put a label to it and identified it as such. Praise God! Funny how discrete and subtle the attacks can be. Probably more like sneak attacks, for I am usually off guard and more weary when the discouragement attacks. Exactly! That’s when the attacks are planned; when defenses are down. This week as I was chatting with a friend and said, “pray for me. I get easily discouraged.” And that’s when it hit me. Discouragement has made it’s way in because I am weak and my defenses are down.

As I reflect on this new awareness of discouragement, I am thankful to my husband for seeing that something was off and bringing it to light. And I am thankful to the Lord for identifying it. For it is in knowing what we are battling that we can then strategize and win. Interesting how this awareness came to be. Over the last few weeks I have felt weary and fatigued. The days and nights seem long with teenagers who come and go. They all seem to stagger their arrival back to our home. It is what it is, as my husband likes to say. And so it is, and I am weary. But God is so good. Sometimes, having our defenses down shows us that we may be trying to defend ourselves and our defense will only last so long. Well, I can’t do this alone as is evident by my weakening resistance.

I don’t know much about combat strategies, but if your defenses are down, the enemy attacks. It’s easy to look back on my last few weeks and see why my defenses began to wobble as life’s circumstances chipped away. The challenge is to identify our weaknesses and shore up those defenses. We all have different weaknesses and the enemy knows them, I promise you that he does. Do we know our own weaknesses? Maybe it’s discouragement, or temptation, or anger, or isolation, or procrastination, etc. But only through the identification of the invader, can we successfully battle. Can you see how the invader stops us from living fully; how he tries to prevent us from receiving and enjoying all the Lord has to give us?

As I look back on my life, I can see that discouragement has followed me around like a shadow in so many aspects of my life. From…I don’t think I can finish this workout. I’m not strong enough; to… I can’t command the respect that is rightfully deserved as a mother; to… how is God really going to deliver on this promise? I can’t battle alone, that is for sure. I must call out for help, for it is Christ’s strength and power that will be my defense and He will overcome the invader. “He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 2:19). If I were not weak and could battle on my own and win, would I ask Jesus for help? Honestly? Probably not. So I rejoice in the battle and in this awareness of discouragement. I rejoice in this new found weakness. And I rejoice in His grace, for it is sufficient!