Desert Journey – Day 6
I am beginning to enjoy the quiet pace of the desert. It’s not hurried or pressured. When I go for a hike, it seems to take me a bit of time to find my stride. I may start out too quickly and get winded or too slowly and feel sluggish. But when I hit my stride, I feel like I can walk forever. There doesn’t seem to be a need to find a stride for this desert hike. Jesus is setting the pace.
Sitting on the large rock with Jesus brings a stillness to my spirit. One for which I often long. The need to get things done seems non-existent. Stillness and quiet are good for the interior life.
Yesterday, I spent time reflecting on the word ‘selfish’. Being involved in ministry is a beautiful outpouring of our love for God and others. However, I found myself claiming ownership of a ministry he had asked me to care for. When ownership is claimed, our concentration can easily turn toward ourselves, self focused in ideas and directives, instead of God’s will. I must confess, I fell into this trap. Something else happens when we claim ownership and are trapped by pride, we assume the space designed for the Holy Spirit to move and work. And I do not want to hinder the Spirit!!
This past Sunday during communion, I released and offered up to the Lord what was his. On Sunday, it was an act of surrender and releasing, for it would take me a few more days to realize how I had taken ownership. I am reminded that I am the caretaker, not the owner. It is a place of humility, instead of pride.
Jesus, keeping “self” in check is hard. He gently reminds me to spend a little more time chatting with him about the work he has asked of me. I can do that, Lord. Conviction brings repentance, which ushers in abounding freedom.
Yes! Thank you for beautifully describing what is going on in my heart as well, dear friend! I can so relate to the ownership and then the selfishness and pridefulness that accompanies it. In addition to not allowing the Holy Spirit move, I have realized that I am in the way of how God may be encouraging others to move and share their gifts as well. My ownership blocks their offerings and growth. So convicting!!
Very convicting post!! Much needed today! ❤
Your entry gives me much to think about. The insight into owning our ministries is an excellent one. I need to re position myself as a conduit and not the conductor. Thank you!