Doubt, the road block of our faith
When does doubt creep into our lives? I don’t remember doubt as a young child. I don’t remember believing something wasn’t true. I believed my parents loved me because they said so. I believed vegetables were good for me because I was told. Santa Claus was real; I’d even seen pictures of him. As a child, things were true because I was told they were true. I didn’t doubt it’s validity because I believed in the people who were speaking truth. Well, okay, all but Santa Claus.
I learned God existed and created everything, seen and unseen. Jesus was his son and he died for me, and somehow the Holy Spirit lived inside of me. What I was told, I believed. The source of the information was trustworthy, so I did not doubt.
But somewhere along life, doubt crept in. I am not sure I can pinpoint exactly the time or event when that first seed of doubt was planted. What I recall, is that somewhere in high school I doubted my parents intelligence, for as a teen I thought I knew it all. In college, I doubted God’s presence in my life. I was good without Him, so I thought. With the passing years and life experiences, I began to doubt people’s sincerity and truthfulness. Some doubt is well founded based on our experiences and past encounters. But what about the doubt that creeps in when we aren’t looking.
A seed of doubt is planted, heard as a whisper, spoken by the enemy; the enemy who wants to keep our faith weak and doubtful- “it will never work,” “you’re no good,” “it will be a failure, no, you’re a failure,” “no one will listen,” “they will all laugh.” The whisper may be faint at first, but it grows, just like a seed. At first it’s invisible, but over time, it breaks through the ground. So too our doubt, from a whisper to a loud, clear and very believable sound that becomes so powerful it can become our truth.
If I believe, which I do, that God is truth, hope, love, mercy, sovereign, all-knowing, everywhere, etc., why oh why, do I even entertain one seed of doubt as to what He can do, for He can do all things. Jesus asked the blind man, “do you believe I am able to do this?” (Mt. 9:28) referring to healing his sight. The blind man, said “yes!” The blind man didn’t seem to question, hesitate or doubt what Jesus could do. I don’t always understand what God is doing. In fact, I will never understand God’s plan; I am not meant to. We just are not privy to seeing the plan. We are like the blind man who had no vision. All we are asked to do, is to believe that He is able to do this. ‘This’ is anything He has called us to do no matter how small and seemingly insignificant or how grand.
I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that I struggle with doubt, a lot. The words from Matthew 16:8, “oh you of little faith,” have washed over me many a times. “Oh you of little faith,” I hear the Lord say when my doubts swirl and I lose encouragement. Then I am reminded, what the angel Gabriel told Mary, “that nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37)
How I long for a faith that is like the blind man. A faith that does not require a blueprint or a road map or even a trailer. I don’t want to hear the words, “oh you of little faith.” What my heart desires to hear is, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.” (Mt. 25:23)
As we move through this lenten season, may the Lord squelch all of our doubt, help our unbelief and help us to be content to be the blind man.
