Help

Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help
-The Beatles

The Beatles had it right. We all need help. And yet, why is it so darn hard to ask for or receive help?

Jesus allowed himself to be ministered to. He allowed others to help him and care for him throughout his life. He never said no to people who wanted to serve Him. We read about Jesus dining with Mary and Martha. The woman with the alabaster jar showed great care for Jesus as she anointed Him with very expensive oil. On the walk to Calvary, Simon the Cyrene helped Jesus carry his cross; Veronica wiped his face. And on the walk to Emmaus, the two men who encountered Jesus, invited him to stay at their home for traveling the roads at night was dangerous. With each one of these encounters, Jesus received what people offered. Jesus was God incarnate. If He could heal the leper and bring the dead back to life, did He really need what these folks were offering?

“May I help you?” Most people reply, “no, I’m good.” I find I do that more often than not. Why is my reaction to respond with a “no?” Am I afraid I may look weak, incapable, or deficient? Am I too stubborn and want to do it my way? Maybe I think I am inconveniencing others? Or do I believe that if I receive help, I will in some way owe something to someone – help with strings attached? What’s behind our struggle to accept help or ask for help? I believe it’s self-sufficiency. That powerful influence that has us convinced we don’t need anyone’s help; we can do it alone. Wikipedia describes self- sufficiency as the state of not requiring any aid, support, or interaction for survival; it is therefore a type of personal autonomy. It’s like being a lone soldiers of sorts. The lone soldier doesn’t rely on anyone. They go solo. I kind of imagine the lone soldier to exist in a lonely place. Not exactly the image that comes to mind when I think about how Jesus lived his life on earth.

Jesus lived in community. His public ministry included his 12 apostles and other close friends and family. He wasn’t a lone soldier and He didn’t model that for us. Jesus seemed to welcome help. Why didn’t He feel the need to be self-sufficient? I think it’s because He practiced the virtue of charity -the concept of unlimited love and kindness. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13 King James). The more familiar version, “but the greatest of these is love.” So help is charity and charity is love, and when we offer help or receive help, we are practicing the virtue of charity.

I guess what I am realizing is, if I fail to receive help or I miss an opportunity to give help, I am really hindering the virtue of charity from being practiced; I am stopping the flow of unlimited love and kindness, whose source is God and whose recipients are us. We all live in some kind of community where we can enjoy the Lord’s unlimited love and kindness if we can just hang up our lone soldier persona and make time to ask the question “may I help you?” and answer “yes” when that question is posed to us.