Radical obedience
Do I jump or wait? Do I leap or hold back? The spectrum of obedience – where does mine fall?
This obedience thing is hard. I want to be radical in my obedience, not reluctant. “The spirit is willing, but the flesh…” That flesh, always trying to insert itself, make itself heard, known and seen. It’s something to contend with, the flesh.
Obedience and surrender are tightly intertwined. The flesh surrendered is a victorious spirit. I am praying for surrendered flesh and an obedient heart.
I would like to be radically obedience, but I have to want it. Faith is intentional, not haphazard. “And he (Jesus) was told ‘your mother and your brethren are standing outside, desiring to see you’” (Luke 8:20). Desiring, longing, wanting…how badly do I want to see Jesus, be like him, follow him? What is my motivation for obedience?
Obedience doesn’t just happen. It is a choice and it takes faith, and lots of it. It is also rooted in love, otherwise, obedience for the sake of obeying may likely cultivate resentment.
I have this bad habit of saying “yes” to a call and then falling into a vortex of doubt. “Why did I say yes?” “What was I thinking?” “Of course I shouldn’t be doing this.” Or after the fact, wallowing in, “I should have done it this way or I should have said that.” Oh how the vortex can spin at high speeds and scatter the enemy’s seeds of doubt. I am the only one who decides whether or not these seeds take root.
Our community can help us with those seeds of doubt. Do you have one, a community, that sees what you cannot see, a community that encourages and affirms when the spreader of doubt is in full gear?
Radical obedience ended with the Resurrection. Reluctance would not have been victorious. Radical obedience, involves deep prayer, faith, Christian community, and our will united to the Father’s, “not my will but your will be done.” It ends in victory, whether we see the fruits or not. However, we cannot measure victory by the world’s standard. As St. Paul reminds us, “for to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Dying to self will pave a way for our “yes” to yield heavenly gains.
“Radical Obedience ended with the resurrection” – what a powerful statement! Who among us hasn’t struggled with God telling Abraham to kill Isaac, knowing we likely would not have put our child on the alter? With big risk comes big reward, yet we are not always confident in the message. Your message strikes a chord with any faithful servant!
“…falling into the Vortex of self-doubt.” Yes! I do understand that! And amen to focusing on the victory that’s already done, rather than the fruit we may not see.