Restoring gentleness

Recently, I had the opportunity to help care for my dad after his knee replacement surgery. When you know there is a very fragile part of the body that needs care, you tend to be drawn towards acts of gentleness for we would not want to bring any more pain or wounding to that person. When my children were babies, gentleness seemed to come more naturally. My movements were slow and carefully carried out, for fear I might hurt them. My sweet dog seems to draw out the gentleness, somehow.

When I think of how gentle Jesus must have been with each encounter he had, I beleive the people must have felt so cared for and loved. I shudder to think how brusque I must be in comparison. Why is it easier to care for and be gentle with those who are physically fragile? And why can’t I see that we are all interiorly fragile? I am interiorly fragile – words hurt, glances cut, and silence pierces. If my touch is gentle but my words harsh, or my look severe or my silence deafening, I have ignored the fragility of the encounter.

While caring for my dad, I couldn’t get the woman with the alabaster jar out of my mind. As the Lord began to teach on gentleness, I pondered her interaction with Jesus. She doesn’t speak in any of the gospel accounts. Every image of her anointing Jesus flooded my mind. Her gentleness, His gentleness, struck me. The woman brings her most valued possession, the oil, and offers it to Jesus in the most gentlest of ways. She washes Him with oil and she weeps. I wonder if she wept because of her feeling unworthy and sinful, or whether she wept because the love she received from Jesus was so overwhelming and flooded her heart.

The scene around Jesus and the woman was anything but gentle. It was contentious and judgmental, as scripture reveals. “Why was this ointment wasted…If he knew who she was…They scolded her.” And yet, neither Jesus nor the woman were distracted by the external. This exchange of gentleness continues in the midst of their surroundings. I wish I could maintain gentle in the midst of contention. I reflect on some of my encounters, especially at home, that exhibit very little gentleness. I am quickly caught up in the emotions, frustrations, judgements, and inconveniences.

How do we follow Jesus in gentleness? I don’t really have an answer, as I am reactionary without gentleness, more times than I care to admit. I can easily fall into the category of the “others” dining with Jesus. But I am asking Jesus to give me the grace to look at my reactions and be more introspective about how I respond to situations. I hear Him say, “child, curtail your temper and frustration. Be patient. Be quick to love not judge. Don’t feel inconvenienced. There is a time to serve and a time to rest.” I pray He teaches me how I can better respond with more gentleness and that I would remember the fragility of each encounter. Oh to hear Jesus say, “…she has done a beautiful thing to me…for she loved much” (Mt.26:10 and Lk 7:47).