Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day It’s A Process

If I had a dollar for every time, my mom said, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” I’d be rich! It was a phrase she often repeated as she tried to teach me that anything of significance and value takes time, patience, and hard work. And the building process is as important, and maybe more so, than the finished product.

As an impulsive and impatient soul, whether working on a project for school, learning a new skill, or landing a job, I wanted things done quickly and preferred to skip the process. I am afraid not much has changed. My mom still reminds me that “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and I still don’t care for the process. Please, just get me to Rome.

The Process

Our dog, Ella, is all about the process. Although she is 18 months old now, the finish line is still a way off. What is natural to many dogs, Ella has had to learn through a very intentional process of conquering one building block after the other. Learning for her is broken down into baby steps to keep her from being overwhelmed and sent into a tailspin, literally.

The simple act of meeting new people or going for a walk, or settling down at home after a good run around challenges Ella. So, we break things down into bite-sized pieces so she can be successful. For example, when we meet new people, we start from a reasonable distance, we meet in neutral territory, always give lots of treats, and take lots of breaks, so it doesn’t become too intense for her. All these little steps create building blocks of success in the hopes that one day, the finish line will be in our sight.

Setbacks and stumbling blocks

The hardest part of the building process is that every building process comes with setbacks and stumbling blocks. It’s unavoidable, and somehow, I always seem to forget that. I am often too focused on the result, and this impatient and impulsive soul wants to see the finish line in sight without enduring the process, however, there is no learning without stumbling and no growth without struggle.

Some days with Ella are filled with setbacks. The outside world can be too triggering for her, and reactivity is her response. It’s easy to get discouraged and want to give up.

Enduring the process

Oswald Chambers says, “patience is more than endurance. A saint’s life is in the hands of God, like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again, the saint says, ‘I cannot stand anymore.’ God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands.” (My Utmost for His Highest)

The past year with Ella has been a considerable strain, and I have cried out on numerous occasions, “I cannot stand anymore, God. Why is the finish line not in sight?” But the Archer stretches the bow a little further.

Lessons from Ella

The finish line is still not in sight, nor is Ella a finished product. The building process continues for both of us. Ella is slowly learning how to meet people and walk past neighbors and dogs. I, on the other hand, am learning that:

Stumbling blocks are good for humility

Setbacks teach perseverance

Patience helps us to endure

Frequent breaks put things into perspective

When overwhelmed, make it bite-sized, it’s easier that way

And lastly, trusting God is hard, but keep trying

If I can keep my eyes on God, the building process is sure to go better. It is in the process that He teaches, not in the outcome. And, it is the process that He transforms us, not the finish line.

Thank you Mom, for teaching me that “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and that beautiful things take time to build.