You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime you find, you get what you need.” The Rolling Stones were right, we don’t always get what we want, plain and simple. And often times, what we need is never sought. 

The Chasm

What lies in between what we want and what we need is a chasm offering us two possibilities: 1) an opportunity for growth and development, or 2) a time to sit in disappointment and discouragement. The choice is ours. We can choose to grow or we can decide to camp out and wallow in the realm of what we think might have been. 

I am really good at camping out in the realm of what could have, should have or would have been. I don’t know why I do this. Perhaps, it is my tendency for perfectionism or idealism or unrealistic expectations. This time, I want growth from the lessons of the past few months, not discouragement. At the moment, I am teetering on a tightrope as I cross over the chasm bridging what I want with what I need.

Ella the Dog

Last fall, I adopted a dog. She’s a sweetie and her name is Ella. I won’t bore you with stories of Ella and our struggles. Suffice to say, what I wanted in a dog, apparently, was not what I needed. It is very likely Ella may need a new home. We live in a townhome in the city and she’s a country girl at heart. Yes, I have set up camp in the chasm of disappointment, discouragement and grief. 

Lessons Learned

It’s been quoted by several, “the tougher the lesson, the bigger the blessing,” and although this lesson is not over and I am still unpacking the blessings, here is what I have learned thus far:

• Be careful with expectations, chances are they will let you down.
• Learning is not necessarily linear and dogs do not walk in a straight line.
• Perfection only exists in your imagination and on social media. It is a lie. Don’t buy in.
• Try a new approach if the old one is not working; and treats are a good incentive.
• Disappointment happens. Cry a little or cry a lot. 
• Patience, patience and more patience is needed when dealing with dogs and even more so with people.
• Hug a dog, you’ll feel better.
• Frustration is the enemies way of making you give up. Dog gone it, do not give up!
• Waggly and wiggly dogs make me smile.

What I Need

As I carefully make my way across the tightrope that spans the chasm, I am letting go and leaving behind what I want. I am reminded on this Good Friday that what I want, is driven by my selfish desires. What I need, but seldom seek on my own, is refinement of my soul, purification of my thoughts, and purging of unwanted attitudes. As much as I want what I want, there is no growth without crossing the chasm and accepting what I need.